Absolution
by ficshun
Summary: Suzaku must make a choice when confronted with the truth of Zero's identity. Oneshot.


Title: Absolution

Summary: Suzaku must make a choice when confronted with the truth of Zero's identity. Oneshot.

Spoiler/Other Warnings: Takes place during episode 23, AU events. Character death.

Author's Note: This fic lost any relevance after episodes 24 and 25 came out :P Serves me right for taking so long to finish it! Anyway, I wrote this to speculate how Suzaku would react to Zero's unveiling. Also, what would happen if Euphie wasn't the only person to resist the Geass? This kind of fell apart on me and it's sort of heavy-handed, but I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass...but I'd like to keep Suzaku. Can I please?

**Absolution**

"You're Japanese aren't you?"

It was the only warning Suzaku had before a burst of gunfire erupted from the Knightmare Frame. But the chilling pronouncement gave him just enough time to dive between the machine's legs, smoothly rolling away from the pilot's line of sight.

Not for the first time, Suzaku wished he had the Lancelot at his fingertips instead of the thin sword that bounced awkwardly at his hip. Yet Euphie had insisted against any display of strength impressive enough to scare away Zero.

_Zero._

Somehow he felt sure that Zero was the cause of all...this. Suzaku tried desperately to concentrate amid the screams and suffocating terror that swelled from all sides. He couldn't lose himself amongst the carnage, not before he found Euphie. The Knightmare Frame he had evaded began to turn around, jolting him back to full awareness.

Before he could further plan his escape, the attacking Frame was suddenly crushed beneath a torrent of crimson energy that crackled and blazed with immense power. Suzaku shielded his eyes against the unbearable light and hurtling debris as it was brutally demolished.

_The Hadron Cannon._

Suzaku glanced upwards. There Zero's Gawain shone sleekly, a dark blot amid the mockingly blue sky. Its sharp, phoenix-like wings jutted forwards aggressively, for all intents looking like a raptor poised for attack. But the Gawain's canons were powered down and, for the moment, it simply hovered, huge in its menace and power.

_So it wasn't aiming for me. But then why would Zero save me?_

No, not Zero. The masked vigilante was clearly a strategist, not a fighter. He had that mysterious woman pilot the Gawain at least some of the time – that much was obvious after his haughty entrance to the commemorative ceremony. Though he had fought side by side with the green haired woman before that was little reason to spare a Britannian knight, especially now. If the pilot's intention wasn't to help Suzaku, she must have been protecting someone else.

Suzaku quickly scanned through the crowds of bloodied Japanese who were fleeing, shielding loved ones, dying. He wouldn't begrudge the Order for showing up this time, so long as they saved as many as possible. So long as it wasn't all a cruelly orchestrated plot by Zero to rally country-wide support. Euphie surely wasn't responsible for such callous disregard for life. She couldn't be.

A flutter of black suddenly caught Suzaku's eye. Turning, he saw Zero in the nearby stands, an elderly woman clutched weakly at his cape before collapsing lifelessly to the ground. For a moment, Zero paused, appearing to consider the fallen woman. His cloak draped listlessly across his slim frame, stained slightly darker with blood where she had clung to him.

"Zero!" Somehow the rebel leader heard Suzaku's infuriated shout above the multitude of screams and gunfire. He raised his head towards the brunette then turned to run. Suzaku stifled a curse before quickly sprinting after him, careful to avoid many sprawled bodies. It didn't take long for the lithely athletic pilot to cut off Zero's retreat, halting him with his drawn sword.

"This is as far as you go, Zero," Suzaku said steadily, grip tight on the hilt. "I can't let you run away this time."

"Hmph. What do you intend to do, Kururugi, kill me?" Zero said a bit breathlessly but with just as much arrogance as ever.

"If I must. But the Japanese people should be the ones to make you answer for what's happened today."

"How unlike you – allowing the Japanese a choice in their fate. Why don't you simply murder me like you did your father?"

Suzaku hardened his glare but refused to be provoked.

"What did you do to Euphie?"

"I didn't do...I didn't want this to happen," Zero said defensively, a bit of the former bravado gone from his voice.

"You didn't want this to happen but it had to happen. Is that what you're saying?" Suzaku demanded, unable to fully restrain his fury.

"Don't be ridiculous. Why would I set out to destroy the people I'm liberating? My comrades. Euphemia is the deceitful traitor who-" Zero staggered under the swift force of Suzaku's fist striking his face. More surprised than harmed, he shakily regained his balance.

Suzaku's composure was fraying; blood seeped through one snowy glove where he'd split his knuckles against Zero's helmet and he clenched his jaw angrily.

"No one wanted New Tokyo to succeed more than Euphie. I won't allow your hateful lies about her. I won't allow it!" In one fluid motion Suzaku shifted his stance. Gripping the sword in both hands he pointed it level with his rival's chest but made no move to attack.

"I don't have time for this nonsense. Out of my way," Zero ordered and swept his arm to the side imperiously, as though the motion would make Suzaku obey. Suddenly an explosion thundered from a destroyed Knightmare Frame dangerously close to the young men, smoking debris erupted from its considerable blast.

Suzaku could spare little thought for Zero as he was hurtled violently across the ground, mindful only of not landing on his own sword. Finally his body rolled to a stop. Except for his breath being knocked from him and a few scrapes he was otherwise unhurt.

Zero didn't seem to be faring as well. His flamboyant cloak was ripped in several places and he was only able to stumble to his feet after a second attempt. Though the black-clad figure was facing away from him, Suzaku could tell he was in pain with the way he clutched at his head. He noticed it then, letting out a small noise of surprise. What remained of Zero's faceless mask laid split and battered behind the terrorist's feet. Zero ran a gloved hand across his ebony hair, also quickly realizing he was without his helmet. Frantic, he scanned the ground looking for his disguise then turned towards Suzaku.

"Lelouch?"

Suzaku felt physically staggered by the surge of disbelief that coursed through him, making it difficult to even think past that grip of pained astonishment. Until that instant he had anticipated the moment of Zero's unveiling with bitter excitement, curious to know what type of man ruthlessly commanded from behind his anonymous shroud. Never had he imagined that face could be so intimately familiar. Suzaku felt ill, aching for any wisp of doubt as to Zero's identity.

Though another tight mask covered the lower half of his face, there was no mistaking Lelouch's delicately handsome features. The high arch of his cheekbones, the line of his jaw, his eyes. An unsettling chill crept through Suzaku; there was something distinctly wrong about Lelouch's left eye. The explosion had separated them by a few yards but he could make out a swatch of glowing red through one twilight iris.

It was impossible for Suzaku to reconcile the image of the terrorist before him – bloody, cold, relentless – with the young man he knew as Lelouch.

_It can't be._

As if sensing Suzaku's stare, Lelouch glanced up from his irreparable helmet, meeting his longtime friend's gaze as he pulled down the thin mask to below his chin. Suzaku expected him to look shamed or remorseful, yet Lelouch's expression was one of unfettered determination. He levelly held his eyes, fiercely daring Suzaku to look away from the truth. Suzaku had seen this Lelouch only once before, seven years ago...

"_Suzaku. I will crush Britannia," the boy boldly announced. His dark eyes never wavered, searing with unfaltering intensity._

There was no room for denial anymore._ Lelouch is Zero_. The numbness that had settled through Suzaku incinerated in a flare of betrayed rage. He shuddered, overcome with emotion, anger and sorrow collided within his chest like a battering ram.

"Lelouch! Why?" He couldn't help but yell, emotion choking his words. "Why are you doing this?"

"Such a cold greeting for an old friend," Lelouch shouted as well, but only to be heard above the clamor, his face remained impassive.

"That's all you have to say for yourself? You never held back with Zero's mask to hide behind." Lelouch showed no inclination to reply. He directed a level calculating eye at Suzaku, studying him as he would a chess board. The Lancelot's pilot fumed. "Answer me!"

"I planned to make you Nunnally's knight, you know," Lelouch finally said, his voice donned a vaguely wistful tone and for a moment he seemed to look through the young soldier distractedly.

"Nunnally? What are you..." Suzaku blinked incredulously as Lelouch's motives began to sharpen. "Don't tell me you want to reclaim your title. You the lost the name of Lelouch Vi Britannia a long time ago. You can't just-"

"You presume to tell me what I can do?" Lelouch cut him off. "I _never _stopped being Lelouch Vi Britannia. Lelouch Lamperouge? Zero? Those names serve their purposes but they're as superficial as this," He ground his foot atop the wrecked mask with a humorless smirk. "More importantly, Nunnally remains the royalty she always was. That bastard robbed Nunnally of her sight, of her...her mother. She deserves vengeance."

"How dare you commit murder in Nunnally's name," Suzaku growled, unable to check his infuriation. "She'd rather die than be your justification for this bloodshed."

Lelouch opened his mouth to respond but only let out a tight gasp and clapped a hand to his eye. Noticing the pained flinch, Suzaku reflexively took a step towards his friend's struggling form. Startled by his own reaction, he abruptly stopped himself though no small part of him still itched to join the prince's side.

"Lelouch..." his voice softened, "What have you done to yourself?" Glimpses of crimson glowed from between the fingers still clasped over one eye as Lelouch lifted his head.

"Don't you pity me, Suzaku. I-"

"Look out!"

Without warning, a Britannian Knightmare Frame had positioned itself behind the unmasked terrorist. The Frame was extensively damaged, smoke and bright sparks spurted from deep gashes in its ruined armor yet its arm aimed at Lelouch's back with deadly accuracy.

Alerted by Suzaku's alarmed expression, Lelouch whirled to face the threat, or at least tried to. Still unsteady and battered by the explosion, the quick movement nearly toppled him to his knees. Agonizing dread clutched at Suzaku. There was no way Lelouch could escape.

"Lelouch, move!" he shouted. For a moment wild hope flashed through Suzaku as he noticed the Frame's main turret was completely wrecked. Yet the moment was fleeting. The pilot already began to maneuver an ammunition clip to its auxiliary weapon with cold efficiency. He didn't have much time.

As soon as Suzaku took a sprinting step towards Lelouch something unexpectedly halted his movement. His body felt submerged in deep sand, utterly immobile.

_Live._

_Zero's command ricocheted through Suzaku's skull, trailed by arcs of energy that leaped before his vision like lightening strikes. He felt wholly apart from his body, hurtling through a corridor of brightly flashing synapses. In rapid succession glimpses of people and events materialized before him, sometimes too quickly to distinguish one vision from another._

_Suzaku saw the strange amber-eyed woman who allied with Lelouch as she reached to touch the Lancelot. This image shifted into a sea of faces, each with a scarlet symbol emblazoned on their foreheads. It all seemed so foreign and at the same time, so familiar. Both comforting yet strange, like recalling a long forgotten memory._

_Suddenly he was watching himself inside the Lancelot's cockpit, gun in hand pointed uncertainly at Zero. A section of the rebel's face shield snapped open._

_Live!_

Suzaku was back at the scene of the massacre, detachedly observing the Knightmare Frame's readied weapon take sinister aim. Time slowed to a crawl as part of him distantly felt he should be worried about something. Or someone.

_That's right. I have to save myself._

Despite a small dissenting urge, he turned away from the threat, his limbs tugged by unseen threads.

_No! _

What was only seconds ago a pale, remote flicker of concern exploded into raw fear for Lelouch's life. Suzaku looked on in shock as his legs continued to move of their own accord. Frantically he struggled to control his body, but it resolutely refused to obey.

_Live._

_I won't die. Lelouch needs me. _

Suzaku's head swam from the effort of suppressing the inexplicable urge to run away. The feeling surged, flowing over him like a flood.

_Lelouch is Zero. Why should I save him?_

Suzaku grimaced at the traitorous thought, at his traitorous body. Only months before he had fiercely protected Lelouch, giving up his face mask to shield him from what they believed to be poisonous gas. He refused orders to kill his friend, moments after their unexpected reunion, only to be shot and nearly killed himself. Lelouch may be Zero, but he was still Lelouch. He had to believe that.

_Live!_

Summoning all his strength, the oppressive need to flee shattered as it collided with Suzaku's willful resistance. He could feel the alien constrictions fall away like loose fabric from his shoulders. Suzaku afforded a brief moment to savor an exhilarating wave of relief, like a drowning man gasping in vital breath. In the next instant he raced to close the distance between himself and Lelouch who stood with stubborn defiance before the Frame, accepting the futility of escape.

"No!"

Suzaku lunged forward desperately. His gloved hands pressed to Lelouch's side, pushing. Amid the furious pulsing of his heart he heard Lelouch shout his name, a sound quickly devoured by peals of thunderous gunfire.

Pain.

Suzaku was swept up in a torrent of agony. All worry for Lelouch was quickly obliterated by the torment of bullets spearing his flesh, shattering bone, burrowing into tender organs. His entire awareness became captured within a cage of devastation, which crushed him from all sides. Suzaku wanted to scream, to release the searing flames hollowing out his body. But he didn't cry out, only the sound of a muffled voice threaded through the cleaving pain.

"...zaku! Suzaku!"

Welcoming the distraction, Suzaku struggled to focus on the voice. Gradually points of light among his darkened vision resolved into a picture of his surroundings. Dominating his view was the Knightmare Frame, now prone on the ground, smoke fountaining from its gun arm. The distant glimmer of relief sparked by that sight waned before a pulse of panicked confusion.

Suzaku's mind scrambled to remember why he too was on the ground. Uncomprehendingly he watched a ring of dark blood creep beside him, soon swallowed by the dirt. Was that his blood? Where was Lelouch? Suddenly the past few moments rushed back to Suzaku, slamming into him as unforgiving as a brick wall. He was shot. Acute terror dissolved his confusion, finally realizing the severity of his injuries. He frantically gasped for breath, barely able to think, much less move while captured in the heavy net of pain.

* * *

"Suzaku?" Lelouch knelt beside the fallen knight. His throat tightened at the sickening feel of his friend's blood seeping beneath his knees. The young prince had seen countless people in the throes of suffering, even before gaining the Geass, from those freshly wounded to long-dead bodies. It wasn't something he wished to callous his heart against yet he soon learned it was impossible to absorb the pain of all without destroying himself.

But seeing Suzaku so damaged and helpless tore at an old wound Lelouch had labored to mend ever since his mother's death. Suzaku's awkwardly angled limbs, the countless spots of crimson blooming across his form, everything composed a gruesome reenactment of his mother's murder, mimicking her body sprawled across the stairs.

Except, Suzaku couldn't be dead. Despite an overwhelming urge to look away, Lelouch ached to touch the boy before him, to affirm that there was still life within. Tentatively, he placed a shaking hand to Suzaku's chest, feeling against his palm the sporadic hitching of his lungs as he struggled for breath. Sliding his other arm beneath Suzaku's shoulders, Lelouch cautiously moved to cradle the brunette against him. Suzaku yelped in pain and Lelouch released him with a startled gasp. He thrashed weakly, green eyes wide and unfocused.

Lelouch almost felt ashamed to witness his friend's vulnerability. Suzaku was righteous, steadfast, strong. He wasn't this broken body. A low angry sob shuddered out of Lelouch's throat as he slammed a fist to the ground.

"Damn it, Suzaku! Why?"

The prince's commanding voice was like an anchor in a tempest of disorienting lights and sounds. When he finally recognized the dark form beside him as Lelouch, Suzaku's eyes lit with clarity, his breathing calmed slightly.

"Lelouch," his voice came rough and strained, rasping slightly with blood. "I'm sorry. I- I couldn't save you."

"I wasn't hit. I'm fine." True, he was uninjured, but Lelouch had to keep from laughing hysterically at the absurdity of his last words.

"No, that's not what- ah!"Lelouch watched, powerless to help as another jolt wracked Suzaku. It felt then as though he had been shot, lancing anguish stabbed him to the core. Suzaku was slipping away, sliding into an abyss lined with all his meticulous plans. Lelouch stood at the precipice of this gaping void, unable to control or command. Left fumbling with the frayed strings snapped from his puppets.

"You can't die, Suzaku. You can't! I ordered you to live!" He was yelling. Sobbing. Pleading. Lelouch drew a shuddering breath, burning tears ran unnoticed down his angular cheeks. "I need you."

"I don't understand...any of this," Suzaku's voice came slowly, labored, barely whispering past pale lips stark with trailing blood. His ashen face was drawn from pain and confusion, maybe fear, Lelouch realized with a pang. Even the intensity in his verdant eyes flickered feebly. Hearing a faint intake of breath, Lelouch leaned towards Suzaku, straining to hear his voice, until his midnight hair nearly brushed the pilot's cheeks. No words came. Suzaku's half-closed eyes looked blindly through Lelouch, dull like a snuffed lantern of frosted glass.

"I need you." Lelouch grasped his friend's unresponsive hand, tightening his fingers until they ached. "I need you to stop me."

* * *

"Tsumi!"

"'Checkmate', remember? This isn't shougi after all."

"Oh, right," Suzaku ducked his head sheepishly yet couldn't help a wide grin. "Checkmate." With a pleasant tap of polished stone against stone, he confidently placed his ivory knight so that it trapped the opposing king. Lelouch chuckled.

"Congratulations. You've defeated the master."

"Don't act so surprised, Lelouch. You let me win," Suzaku said with a small smile. He spoke without accusation or any trace of doubt.

Caught off guard, Lelouch considered the boy sitting across from him in the otherwise empty student council room. He thought his purposefully flawed maneuvers had been so subtle as to go unnoticed. True, the prince could have easily claimed victory, but Suzaku showed ability that Lelouch wanted to study without crushing his confidence. One day he supposed Suzaku would be an equal adversary, and he couldn't imagine losing to anyone but him.

He shouldn't have underestimated Suzaku. His friend was intelligent and observant, if not a little too impulsive for chess. A sly smile quirked Lelouch's lips.

"That doesn't mean I lost."

"I don't understand," Suzaku shook his head slightly, his shaggy caramel hair catching the golden afternoon light.

"Seeing your smile was better than winning any game."

Suddenly embarrassed, Suzaku looked away, redness lightly coloring his cheeks. Lelouch felt a flush creep to his face as well, he hadn't exactly planned for his words to come out that way. Yet they had. He cleared his throat loudly. "Rematch?"

"Sure," Suzaku nodded and smiled shyly. Silently they collected their strewn pieces, sometimes their fingers carelessly brushed against the other's, and reset the board.

"I won't lose this time."

"Neither will I."

**The End**


End file.
